My Daughter's Filfthy Oven

Here's a little peek inside my daughter Lou Ann's oven. The contest is not about ovens, but pots and pans, but I thought I'd put this picture up to get us all in the mood. I think I did a pretty good job of it for an old woman whose last camera was a Kodak Instamatic.

Can't you just smell the baked-on grease?

I can just hear some of you saying "you call THAT dirty?" Well, all I can say is the picture doesn't really do it justice. The sides were worse, but with my bursitis I couldn't twist myself around to get a good picture of the dirt there. Besides, if her oven had been much dirtier, I'd of been ashamed to show it.

Since my blog is broadcast the world over, I guess I ought not to be surprised that I've already heard words of protest from some of those who swing so hard and far to the left they've gone into a spin.

O'Clara said (you can read her words exactly as she wrote them down in the comments) "If Lou Ann has a filfthy oven it could be that she is frugal enough NOT to have bought a self-cleaning oven."

Well, O'Clara, Lou Ann does have a self-cleaning oven. Do I need to say more about that?

"Or she might be environmentally aware enough that she rightly refuses to use spray cans of poison oven cleanser..."

Well, Lou Ann would never use those oven cleaners you are talking about. She was a young girl when we had a neighbor who had the cleanest oven I've ever seen, for someone who used her oven all the time. I know because when I was over there at her Tupperware parties, I'd sneak into the kitchen and open up her oven to take a look. (I'd peep behind her shower curtain too, to see how on top of the soap scum she was.)

It came to pass that this woman started acting kind of strange, doing the kinds of things a lot of us women do when we've had too much of home and family. She took to spending too much time in the attic, standing in the front yard beating pots and pans and telling everybody she'd started a little band and did they want to buy a ticket?

She finally went AWOL and they found her in the woods somewhere in Florida swinging through some big honeysuckle vines like a jungle monkey.

What the people who make Easy-Off don't tell you is how easy it is to go off your rocker if you breathe it every day like she did.

And then O'Clara said: "The dirty oven concept is fabricated by various neat freaks and markets to shame unwitting cooks into buying their product."

And to that I say, I must have had the TV off the day they graduated a dirty oven to a concept.

Still, I have to allow she's got a point which is why I started putting up pictures of dirty ovens and beat up pots and pans. (Y'all didn't think somebody was paying me to do this did you?) Or maybe let's all quit cooking and just eat Twinkies. (But be sure to take the package to the recycle, now.)